I haven’t been nowhere – but am back
They have all been written at different times,
and many of them are repetitive. Besides, of late, I have been trying to write
on creation and universe; and therefore, in many of them, physical laws or scientific
terms are used at random. I shall in due course - as I edit them, provide a
glossary or explanation. Thanks for going through them.
The vacuous mind
Thinks no thoughts,
About nothing. Nirvana.
The monk is back
At the shrine,
Having been nowhere.
I am what I am,
If I were what I were not,
I could not be that which I am.
Will she, for whom every syllable
Is intoned in silence,
Ever be able to hear it?
Don’t make me wait so long,
That my wait exceeds,
My frozen life.
As life flows on
Will she ever read it - this keepsake
to her,
Whose memory will never die.
Lightning stabs the darkness,
Stormy night.
No quiet place for my troubled mind.
Never is here.
Nowhere is here,
No visible end in this non-existent
tunnel.
The bright moon changed its course,
Left him, the wanderer, walking alone
Under an empty sky .
Dark lowering clouds,
Enveloping the endless sky
The heart is overcast with raindrops
of longing.
Long cold nights,
My thoughts wander,
Seeking a warm home to rest.
Alone in a dark night,
Crickets mourn their
Condolences for my dead love.
Your touch, I thought
Would change me.
It made me myself....
Scar in my heart,
Is invisible yet deeper
Than the scar on my forehead....
You left me,
So absolutely, that;
You did not even leave your
memories....
The jay-bird, the oriole, the red
velvet mite
and the peacock, stopped
bringing back my childhood
seasons....
Did the gale blow away
The beautiful sakura, or the sakura
decided,
It is time to leave?
We promised to part and not look
back,
But when my head turned over my
shoulder,
saw, you were looking back.
She came from nowhere, like a
sparkling dew,
vanished in the morning to nowhere,
A dream within a dream.
My always unreachable vodafone,
Helps me ensconce
In my hideaway, my lonliest
existence.
Your memories, like
dark Clouds, pass by slowly;
raining tears as they go.
Windows are shut from that day
not to let away the fragrance
Of the flowers you brought in.
Children going to school.
Bag full of dreams in their
backpacks.
Weighing their childhood down.
The tired porter in the railway
station
Wonders who will
Carry his luggage for him.
Late, in the fish market
Hawkers’ tired voice
Yell in silence for unsold fish
rotting.
Under the starlit sky,
As we lie down on the sands by the
sea,
Love covers us with warmth.
Tea stain on the table,
Sweet fragrant memories, remind me of
The time you were here.
Rodin, helplessly lost in thought
Where to search for,
The thoughts he lost.
As I walk on the dry leaves
Their rustle
Echoes the sound of your absence
My heart stops for a moment,
Whenever I see her,
For only whom it keeps beating.
The wanderer’s song wafts through
With the cold breeze from the
mountains.
But night rules with silence.
Dry withered branch
Clings to the tree with hope
Spring will come again.
I walk into infinite emptiness
Where Nothing
Is not even in existence.
The red vermillion dot
On her forehead, increases her beauty
Ten times as a zero.
I have not been nowhere,
But I am back,
To my non-existent life.
Leave behind a little of your
fragrance,
A sparkle of your smile
To keep my dreams alive.
You are my Panadol, my Valium
You are my Prozac, my Viagra.
You are the prescription for this
doctor.
Our love is timeless,
Its horizons
limited by infinity.
Summer love prevails,
On winter's unknown sorrows-
All parallels, pale.
Like a parched desert
I soak in the rain of your love
Standing completely drenched.
Agape with wonder
As frosty nights fly by me,
I wait for your smile to warm me.
Nothing left to do
But wait for you to tell me
You love me again.
The sun was diving into the sea,
my tears dried and voice choked,
I could not say goodbye.
Do my silent sighs
Of my loneliness reach your ears.
From miles and miles away?
Silently growing old,
Like those two flowers,
Till autumn wind withers us.
You are my Panadol, my Valium
You are my Prozac, my Viagra.
You are the prescription for this
doctor.
You did not turn up,
And left me with,
Sad memories of nothing.
In my life of highs and lows,
You are the
Happy middle of the balance.
My world became so empty
After you ran away with
All our memories.
Moon sighs in the opaque night
As clouds bewitch it.
Pitch dark road for the lonely
journey-man.
When the lone monk reaches
The top of the mountain,
No horizons look distant.
The old temple bell, during the eerie
nights
Reminds me every time,
End is just an hour closer.
Life, like a pile of sand,
Decides its own form,
Whichever way I pour it.
Crying in the rain, missing her
Seeing the cloud kissing the
mountain,
Soaking it with love.
Warmth of love in the spring,
Makes the vibrant flowers bloom,
Soul’s freedom from the frozen jail.
Too dazed to utter even those
Seventeen syllables when I see you.
Your smile stuns me.
Your picture speaks a thousand words,
But your smile, just seventeen.
The birth of a lovely haiku.
He created love to soothe the pain.
When love causes the pain,
What soothes it?
Dark clouds prevail
Over the summers scorching mood.
Every thing changes with the rain.
Cannot waste this precious time
So that I can save it
To waste finally.
Does the moon look larger
In your large lake,
Than how it looks in my small pond?
The address you gave while leaving,
Read 404 – address not found
When I reached.
Dying to see you,
So, your touch makes
Me alive again.
The monk wishes to complete
His living, to look backwards
At the end.
The butterfly, wants to be
A caterpillar; that
Again becomes a butterfly.
The zen monk is trying,
To hit escape in his
Notebook of jumbled programs.
The monk waits for the moment,
To hit, ctrl-alt-del one last time.
No reboots – just the end.
The monk lets go all that he ever
loved,
And now, at the end;
He is left with all that he loves.
The cloud, limps its way in the sky,
Reluctantly, or is it confused
At the cross roads in the sky, where
to go.
No shooting stars for years.
Leaves me disappointed.
With many unfulfilled wishes!!
The monk lets go all that he ever
loved,
And now, at the end;
He is left with all that he loves.
My notebook like me,
Does every thing,
But think.
Life starts with unanswered
questions,
And ends with,
Many answers for questions unknown.
Cyber fragrance
Wafts through the cyberspace,
She logged into my msn messenger.
When he toddled, my world moved,
His warbles brought symphony to my
soul.
His eyes lit up my world. My son!
Why does my mind
Oscillate between joys of meeting her
and
Pains from separation to follow? I am
not a monk!
Feelings – real but not true
Thoughts – true but not real.
You are true and real. My love,
(feelings are like natural laws -
gravity, or weight or mass or speed, etc - which are in real sense never true
as all velocities are relative. Likewise, in Mathematics or logic, infinity or
zero or fractions, etc are true, but they are never real - like half a pen or
deducting infinity from infinity, etc - but they are true and proven)
Ignorance that it will never end,
My first love,
Time laughs at it.
The first kiss - a comma,
an exclamation or a question mark?
Heart hopes it is not a full stop.
Boundaries of our love
Was drawn by the sphere of infinity,.
with infinite density.
Does the star not exist because
you cannot see?
Doea the sea not exist because
you cannot feel it?
Learn to feel them – no questions.
The monk's most important mission,
Is to find out,
What is the most important mission of
life.
I promise, I will never think about
it.
When I try to stop thinking about it,
I think about it even more. Tears.
Why to question
The why,
When the why will always remain a
question?
I am searching for something,
I know not. Shall know
When I find it finally.
To know,
What I do not know.
To hold a handful of void.
I am what I am,
If I were what I were not,
I could not be that which I am.
The wanderer’s song wafts through
With the cold breeze from the
mountains.
But night rules with silence.
I walk into infinite emptiness
Where Nothing
Is not even in existence.
Dark clouds prevail
Over the summers scorching mood.
Every thing changes with the rain.
Basho’s frog jumped in the pond
My moon shattered into pieces.
Waiting it to calm, to get my moon
back.
When I feel your hair on my face,
Caressing softly,
My dreams remain entangled in the
dark manes
Looked at the rock
Rough and ridges and deshaped,
It becamme a flower. Zen.
Cannot waste this precious time
So that I can save it.........
To litter it away myself.
Ascending with the load of life,
Bogged down, Sisyphus realizes,
Zen does not carry the baggage from
past.
Doesn’t languish in morass of
speculation,
The monk – not scared of tomorrow’s
uncertainty,
He knows tomorrow too well to bother.
Dark matter in the universe,
The omnipresent dark energy, existing
In empty space.
Cold tears wash my life away,
As you stand unmoved,
The cause of my tears.
What is that dark matter in the
universe,
Wherefrom came the dark energy that
envelopes all,
Present in the absolute void?
Plotting his path joining the stars
In the sky, the mind strolls through
the universe.
The galactic monk.
Dark space, no coordinates
No starting point, no finishing line,
The monk begins his journey.
Love of entire life,
Passions of a lifetime,
Everything takes a form in a single
drop of tear.
Your eyes treasured all my dreams,
Your smile kept all my happiness.
Where did I lose you?
Path of Nirvana, circles the Zero,
Neither ends nor begins,
You return to where you started from.
Miracles can be explained, but
Not how they happen.
Surprises in life – a proof of his
being.
In the parallel universe,
Your refusal is your acceptance.
But how do the parallels meet?
Traversing through the wormholes,
In the eleven dimension multiverse,
The monk searches for the darkest
blackhole – the Nirvana.
God’s melody resonates,
Through the hyperspace; the invisible
strings
Creating the harmony in the universe.
The inimitable perfection of his
design,
Heightened by his limitless
imagination,
Infinite universe.
Void and infinity, he trades one for
the other,
Knows they are merely two sides,
Of the very same coin.
Will the universe end expanding into
A cold deep freeze, or a hot big
colliding blast,
How will be the process of Nirvana?
The dark energy from the void
distances us
Till we lose each other’s warmth;
Leading to an absolute solitary
existence.
Einstein’s theory of everything and
The monk’s theory of nothing, meet
Where every thing is nothing.
Your light, like that of the dead
star,
Still reaches and enlightens my life,
Though you are long gone.
Enter the blackhole of nirvana.
No escape velocity.
For the monk’s mind and soul.
If ever you read this, and
Think of me,
A drop of tear will be my life’s
worth.
The lonely wanderer,
No baggage of the past, no weight of
the present,
And no load of the future – the monk.
When he knows what is possible,
He also knows what is impossible.
The monk smiles at the lack of
differences.
When it is dark,
You neither see nor know,
What lies inside the mirror.
Living in a dimensionless world,
Empty space, the monk finds
No destination to sail for.
No new place brings him joy,
Nor was he sad, where he was.
Why the journey?
The night sky weeps silent tears,
The sea groans in agony, the
lighthouse stands lifeless.
The monk walks on.
Whisper of the winds through the
pines,
Moon’s hide and seek with the clouds,
and the chirping cuckoo,
Cheer up my dreams.
Getting rid of so much of nothing,
The monk looks back one last time,
As takes up his last journey.
Does the temple bell in the morning
Ends the night, or, does the morning
sun
Makes it ring?
The orange sun, the morning mist,
The chilling breeze, the singing
cuckoo,
It is time for him to start, again.
The omnipresent being with his hands,
Balances omega and lambda,
The universe’s survival.
Finally, the monk found the answer,
An answer which questions,
Its own validity.
The grass bends down under
The weight of the images of the
world,
The water droplet sitting on it
carries.
Weighed down by your images anf
thoughts,
Time to retire to bed,
And escape to the world of my dreams.
The echoes of his flute,
Comes from every mountain around the
valley,
Where is he hiding?
My dreams ascend on the rainbow,
To the heavens,
As I lie on the earth, at the bottom.
The bright red goldmohur
The lively green foliage, Can you
Understand the description by the
cuckoo?
The sound of the big bang
Reverberates eternally through the
universe.
Aum – the sound of the creation.
My life, exists
Like a needle balanced vertically.
In an unstable equilibrium.
Every thing in Zen,
Is absolutely empty,
If and only if it is not.
I can watch my back,
As I walk away from myself,
Till it gets lost behind the horizon.
Possibilities turn probabilities,
Probabilities, inevitabilities; till
his surprises,
Tear every thing apart.
The broken segment of the fractal,
Becomes a fractal; the original
remaining as it was.
The principle of Infinite Brahman.
The waves keep hitting the shore
endlessly,
Neither the shore moves, nor the
waves stop.
An endless relationship.
Endless path, and a never-ending
journey.
Where is the bodhi-tree?
The monk’s quest has to end.
In realizing the worldliness,
As much as otherworldliness,
Lies the wisdom of the zen mind.
Nothing left to look forward to
No tears left to flow,
No memories left behind to keep the
heart beating.
My life slipped between
The dreams of night
And reality of the morning, when I
saw my hut empty.
It all turned dark,
When you turned your back, ccouldn’t
see even
Myself – am I disintegrated?
I lost her somewhere
Between my silent feelings
And unspoken love.
I wake up to the music of her
wrinklets
Sleep when her hair covers my face,
Lost in beautiful dreams of us.
Lying under the startlit sky, on the
beach,
In each others arms,
Being ones with the stars.
The paperboat dancing in the flowing
water
In the drain, carries
The innocence of my childhood away.
Clinging to the past,
Should cannot take wings to
The world of freedom – nirvana.
Ages of waiting, she appears, eyes
sparkling
The familiar smile on her lips.
My world is illuminated.
When your arms encircled me,
Taking me into you,
You claimed me from the world.
Looking around where I stand
Every thing is an illusion, even
Nirvana draped in a veil.
Do the roads remember which chariots
marched on them
After the wind
Blows away all their marks??
My hunger is fed by the bright
moonlight
My thirst is quenched by the cloud
As I lay down observing the smiling
full moon.
Sky and sea, behind a dark veil of
mist
An undefined horizon
A gloomy rainy day.
In me, all my dreams live and perish
The world around me is void
Life in a bubble of water.
The monk, walking all along
On the fine-line
Between the void and the universe
My mind takes me where I want
My heart takes me
Where I should be.
The illusion of reality
Lasts as long as a blink of an eye
But reality of illusion, for ever.
The sorry in my last breath
Will be the last word uttered for
you.
For your forgiveness.
Lifeless incarnate
In a timeless existence
Existing in the ultimate void.
Somewhere sun is lost and moon is yet
To find its way, I walk
Between the sands and the ocean.
Body lying still, the last sigh
utters
Your name in whisper. A droplet of
tear
In the corner of my eye reflects your
picture.
Eyes open – yet not seeing a thing,
Mouth open, yet not breathing, every
thing still.
Your gentle fingers closed my eyes –
Nirvana.
Formless dreams, frozen thoughts
Desiccated hopes, and no wants
Numberless milestones – my life.
Did I renounce all, or
Did every thing renounced me?
All the same – Nirvana.
Life’s jigsaw puzzles combine to form
Meaningless shapes, life comes a full
circle
From nothing to nothing.
Half of them look half familiar
The place I grew up in, who changed?
Me or them? Does it matter?
Till death, life fights and wins
All battles till the end,
When one victory of death ends all.
Living in the hut on the top,
and the mountain, the flowers and the
breeze
Life dying every moment.
Answers to questions of life
Are no answers but synonyms of the
Question itself.
Through the open window in the hut,
The moon rays scatter inside
Enough light for the monk to see his
dreams.
Somewhere, while running away with
myself,
I lost myself
And my only company.
New moon day, as I walk in darkness,
No one can see me, nor can I see any
one.
No one exists for any one.
I live because I cannot die
I cannot die because I live
Sometimes one wins over the others.
The monks foot prints swept away by
the waves,
Looking back,
The monk just smiled.
When there was nothing, absolutely
nothing,
What could have stirred?
Creating the universe?
The lonely wanderer, at last,
finds the answer
To his question, and a question
challenging the answer,
Journey of the Zen.
In timeless pursuance, The Divine
Sculptor
Has been perfecting the Zero,
Voiding the total void.
You live in quintus teal’s home.
Every time I see, I try to touch
you, but fail.
I live in a limited three
dimension.
The timeless existence,
The lifeless incarnate and the
ultimate void,
I am Shiva.
Somewhere the sun is lost,
Moon is yet to find its way,
The inebriated clouds running
amok; the dark sky weeps.
She kissed him,
And I tasted the bitterness of
Betrayal.
Afraid of what I may see,
I am afraid of the history of the
future,
Frozen mind.
Whether they exist or not,
There is neither any truth nor any
falsehood.
To the Zen – it is the same.
In an unstable chaos,
The monk finds stable equilibrium,
Thoughts center of gravity at the
center of Zen.
Time, just a pause,
That every thing does not
Happen all at once.
Genesis, taking place in timeless
nirvana.
It was there and not there,
Always and never.
Is this life as queer as others
suppose?
The Monk finds it even queerer,
Finding what it is.
No smile like yours,
As beautiful,
Has been as treacherous.
The monk lives the life of a lone
star
150 billion lightyears away,
antigravity pulling all apart.
Living in absolute zero.
The dark energy; no form, no
qualities, no attributes,
The effulgent cause behind
everything,
Never was a time, it did not
exist.
The immanent reality behind every
thing,
The cause that sustains effects,
You are the beginning and you are
the end.
Will you, the migratory bird from
across the oceans,
trace your path back,
To the empty nest you left?
Living between being and non-being
In the ivory tower of solitude,
unalloyed mind,
Imbued in the quiet ecstacy
of nirvana.
A faster Achilles, though every
moment
Coses the distance by half,
The slow tortoise of Nirvana still
is unreachable.
Deduct everything you know,
And you don't know - from the
space.
A formless, definitionless void.
Timeless Shiva, without any
element,
The ultimate void, the supreme
nothing,
Lifelessness incarnate.
He begins where limits of
knowledge ends,
Knowledge of limits begins,
He is beyond knowledge and limits.
What worh is self of,
Nothing - in relation to infinity.
Every thing - in relation to
nothing.
You touched my life,
For a momentary point,
Like a tangent kissing a curve.
No reason, no laws.
No faith, no belief,
Love denounces all, embraces all.
Your tears trickled down your
cheeks.
My dreams were,
Washed away in flood.
Tangled tresses coverning my face
at night,
Softly carassessing,
To welcome purified rays dribbling
through.,
He lives in the quantum universe
Like the Schrodinger’s cat
Alive and dead at the same time.
From being to becoming
Life’s journey
To acquire a form of being nothing.
The tempestuous force of dark psyche
Starving of realities, living on illusions
Unruly mind wanders everywhere, yet nowhere.
He created the void,
Where matter and anti-matter keep forming
And destroying each other to nothingness.
Drunk in rain, the moon
Sleeping under the blanket of cloud,
Oblivious to the thunder and lightning outsi
Who decides the divine ratio,
Where to pluck the monochord to give the perfect fifth,
The most powerful and evocative notes.
The cage is being flown across the sky,
But I am caged inside;
Freedom in exile!
The key to the greatest treasure,
Kept locked in the chest,
Where lies the greatest treasure of life.
The cuckoo’s song echoing and re-echoing
In the misty dark night, keeps
The heaven alive in the world of my dreams.
One lone cuckoo, willingly invisible, its songs transcend
From all mountains, all around,
Hushes my cries of despair and makes me sleep,
My small hut is filled with
Fragrant cool breeze from the
mountain.
Still, there is enough space for
me.
Ash as we are,
Every thing will turn back to
ashes,
What will remain is the Buddha.
Wandering continuously to find
the destination,
To be known only after reaching.
Millions of questions in mind,
I still wait, for the right time
When the correct answers will
arrive.
Cup of sake on the table,
Seppuku held firm, pierced in,
body bent forward still.
No ripple in the cup of sake.
Sitting on the rick,
The monk plays the flute,
The rock sleeps peacefully.
Edge of the sea is restless
Like the mind, on the verge
Of reaching Zen.
Last breathe exhaled,
All pain gone,
My parting kiss to life.
Holding the rose with love,
Beauty of the rose blinds you
To the pain of the thorn.
The mighty storm still failed
To blow away the moon
From above my head.
Decaying corpse wonders
What was life,
Left all alone by all.
What language must I speak,
So that you can understand
How much I love you.
The pink letter with the
familiar fragrance
Arrives, and my world,
Suffused with your fragrance.
Wearing many masks for many people
For many occasions,
No one is false.
While counting the stars,
I look at the waves,
And forget the numbers.
Words are not needed,
Neither our mind reads each
other,
We have just one heart.
I hear the echoes of her
melodious voice
Running in all directions,
In search of her.
